Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
