I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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