Nicole vs. Life
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
