This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
