We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
