So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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