I showed him my bush... on skype.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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