it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
