I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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