So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
