he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
