I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We left an ass print on the piano.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
