I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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