What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
