her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
