mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
