Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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