Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
