you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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