Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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