They should really pass out barf bags in church
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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