Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize