I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
