so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
