have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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