We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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