We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
