Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
