I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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