Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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