You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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