You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
