I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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