Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
