I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
