seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
