I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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