Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is Oprah even human
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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