is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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