Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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