I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
