I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
