So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He better not be in your backpack
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
