Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
