Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize