I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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