The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just google imaged poop.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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