Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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