I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize