i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
