I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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