I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
