We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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