I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize