i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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