Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
