Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
