so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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