i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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