yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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