i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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