Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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