Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
