Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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