"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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