I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think a kid would responsible me up
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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