I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize